Pam’s Perspective<\/p>\n
Pam Otto is the Manager of Nature Programs and Interpretive Services for the St. Charles Park District<\/p>\n
Years ago a thoughtful naturalist, or perhaps a naturalist with too much time on his or her hands, compiled a list of traits that typify us nature nerds. In the style of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if\u2026” the list read something like, “You might be a naturalist if\u2026you have to warn people before they open any container in your fridge; you’ve ever stopped to get a closer look at roadkill or, even better, brought it home\u2026” You get the picture.<\/p>\n
In the spirit of giving that permeates this festive time of year, we present, as our gift to you, our very own You Might Be a Naturalist\u2026The Holiday Version. Feel free to share it with friends and family so that they too can gauge their naturalist traits\u2014or at least be aware of what they’re in for when you join them ’round the wassail bowl.<\/p>\n
You might be a naturalist if\u2026<\/p>\n
At the Christmas tree lot, you pick the tree with the crooked trunk and scraggly branches because it has a bird nest in it.<\/p>\n
You’re just as interested in mistletoe’s hemi-parasitic relationship with its host tree as you are in any human relationship that may have led you to buy a sprig. Maybe even more so.<\/p>\n
Your “wish list” includes something called Repliscat\u2122.<\/p>\n
You use your Christmas orange to explain plate tectonics and continental drift. (Here’s how! Remove the orange peel in as few pieces as possible. Flatten the pieces out on the table and explain to all who will listen that they represent the plates of the earth’s crust. Next, put the pieces back on the orange\u2014use a toothpick to secure them if you need to\u2014and tell how the cracks represent fault lines. Then lightly twist the orange to move the pieces, thus illustrating how shifting plates produce major geomorphological changes.)<\/p>\n
You repeatedly point out the distinct possibility that all Santa’s reindeer may in fact be female (as evidenced by the pres\u00adence of antlers in winter).<\/p>\n
Fingers crossed, you check your stocking to see if Santa left you a lump of coal. If he did, you check its color, hardness and luster, then hold it over a flame to conclude which rank\u2014lignite, subbituminous, bituminous or anthracite\u2014you re\u00adceived. You then proceed to chatter endlessly about coal formation and the specific properties of each type.<\/p>\n
You’re dreaming of a White Christmas, but only so you can state, with authority, that it is indeed possible for two snow\u00adflakes to be alike.<\/p>\n
You decide to key out all the animals in The Twelve Days of Christmas and learn that day four actually refers to “colly birds,” not “calling birds,” which is what you’d been singing all these years. You dig further and find out that colly birds are European blackbirds, Turdus merula, and, unlike our local blackbird species, are members of the thrush family.<\/p>\n
With shopping and wrapping still not done, you delve deeper and discover that “five golden rings” likely refers to ring-necked birds\u2014perhaps pheasants\u2014and not the jewelry you’d always pictured.<\/p>\n
You relinquish all thoughts of heading out to shop, knowing that you can always hit up the gigantic rack of gift cards at Jewel, and spend what you deem a very pleasant evening learning more about swans a-swimming, geese a-laying, French hens, turtle doves and of course that partridge\u2014likely the French red-legged partridge, Alectoris rufa\u2014in a pear tree, Py\u00adrus communis.<\/p>\n
Many thanks to all of you who read this column, as well as those of you who have taken the time to share your questions, comments and suggestions. Input is always appreciated!<\/p>\n
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good nocturnal period. I mean night.<\/p>\n